Mike Robinson: “I Was An Opioid Addict, Cannabis Changed That”

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Recently I had an addiction medicine specialist who's investigating the use of cannabis in recovery ask me about my own experience, and he wanted it in writing.

Here's my response:

“I’m a cannabinoid medicine patient, researcher, and very outspoken activist that speaks at a lot of events. I’ve fought off multiple health issues with cannabis oils including multiple cancers and severe epilepsy – but one of the hardest things to overcome was an intense pharma opioid addiction. I wrecked on professional tour racing cars back in 1995 and was critically injured – ended up paralyzed and in a wheelchair that took a few years to get out of. Over the past 24 yrs, there’s always been a reason for continual opioid pharma drugs – from injuries to cancers. I’ve been prescribed such heavy amounts it’s a wonder I’m alive. At one point I had 100 mic Fentanyl patches, 80 mg Oxycontin, and 5mg Oxycodone all given to me at once – and with severe epilepsy, I already took nearly 4 dozen pills a day. I never expected to live long enough to have to go through a withdrawal-like I did and now that it’s over one thing I will state is that people with Epilepsy could easily perish during an exit from a drug dependence like I had – I had seizures in full control until I quit Opioids and it’s taken an entire year to gain that control back again.”

“I was a rolling zombie in the wheelchair 2 decades ago and a walking zombie when I got out of it. In between doses, I was able to get things done as at the time I was doing pro bono work nationwide as a Civil Rights Lobbyist representing disabled kids in special ed hearings. I’ll never forget having friends tell me when I lived in on Oahu that “We don’t come over your house after 2 pm because we can’t understand you – too much slurring.” That will always stay with me as I had no idea why my friends didn’t come over at night other than the fact I was always passing out. Nowadays I wonder how many of those times I was near death. I eventually got a hold of myself but never got away from the pharmaceutical drugs – they were always readily available on the menu at every doctor’s appointment and offered as an appetizer before a steak dinner. To me – they were automatic – there were no reminders not to take too many or ever a word of advice that I shouldn’t take them at all or even of the dangers of them. Over the years the addiction continued and continued – even after I started using the very strong high in THC cannabis oils for cancer – which is also used to help someone escape addiction. But, an addict will find just about any reason they can to continue that addiction, and I did exactly that. Nothing was ever ‘enough’ without those pills.”

“I still use those cannabis oils today but now they work way better without pharmaceuticals interrupting their action in my body. When I explain to my primary care doctor that I’m in less pain now than I was on Oxycontin she looks at me puzzled and says the same thing every time “That doesn’t make sense” – but then again she doesn’t understand how cannabis and the endocannabinoid system work. Many ask me why I didn’t quite long ago – when I look back it’s the fear of withdrawal that had me bad. I was so fearful of seizing to death I kept on taking Oxycodone and doctors kept on giving it – often I knew I would use it just to numb myself from the world around me. At the destructive end of the addiction over the past few years, I ran a very intense compassion program that gave away cannabis oils to disadvantaged people and the stress was incredible. People sick, kids sick, and quite often people that have severe epilepsy as I do actually seized to death. Quickly I’d run to more pills not realizing my horrifically bad pain was emotional. Having that emotional stress as a daily issue that was very pressing I believe caused me to keep with the addiction, the pills numbed me and I had myself convinced it was all physical pain which was only partially true – emotional pain increases our physical pain.”

“My doctors all felt that discontinuing opioids would cause me to have a poor quality of life. “Don’t torture yourself” I was told when I talked of a plan for a full opioid exit. But I knew better – I was taking pills to stop the runs, stomach problems, allow sleep, and deep down knew that no longer was I gaining any relief from pain at all. What really gets to me is that I’m a well-educated individual that is a published researcher – and I couldn’t even stop. During the course of running that compassion program, I adopted a 13 yr old girl with severe autism and epilepsy – she was one of my compassion patients and is now 16 – Genevieve. Her dad overdosed and died from opioids over a decade ago, so doing my research thing in January of this year I realized CA requires the co-prescribing of Narcan now – I went to a doctors appointment to get more drugs as I say nowadays – and had to inform her that she couldn’t simply write one prescription – she had to write two. Then it hit me “If only they would have told me 24 yrs ago I’d need a drug in case this one killed me – I never would have taken them at all”. I went home that day and asked my fiance to go to the pharmacy and fill the prescription – it was for a 30 day supply. They would only fill for 7 days without the NARCAN – and I knew that would happen as I had just told my doctor there was no way they’d give me a 30 day supply.”

Genevieve is now 16, mom Anne Mari is now over 2.5 years sober and I’m about to celebrate 1 yr. opioid free

“When Genevieve’s mom came home with the 7 day supply of Opioids I filled my medicine container with the doses – breaking them all in half thinking “That’s it, I’m going to start weaning” but I couldn’t live with myself. I knew I had put my little girl’s future on the line by continuing what I knew was an addiction over the past few years – and now I was potentially going to leave her without Daddy… again? On January 26, 2019, at 5:55 pm I went to that pill dispenser and took all of those half pills out and put them back in the bottle and told myself “You’re stronger than this is” and I put it right next to the 2 medications I still take for Epilepsy so I had to look at it daily. After doing that and deciding I was going cold turkey after 24 years – I handed the Narcan Prescription to my Fiance, Anne Mari, and told her how sorry I was for continuing to take them when I knew I was addicted. She’s 2 yrs sober herself from Alcohol herself – a warrior – over the last 11 months she’s become the best friend a person could ever have. We have our own little meetings often and will hug each other at random times when we can see the other is needing it. It takes a long time to get your brain back, your life back, and your balance back when Big Pharma’s rendition of Heroin takes it from you.”

“We all tend to trust our doctors so much – but I’ve worked with them and I do not. I don’t even trust myself when it comes to those drugs – I need surgery on my shoulder but am putting it off and when I do eventually have it reconstructed I’ll have specific orders on what I can get and when, when I leave the hospital the opioids stay there – when I can get up and do P/T in the hospital all shots will cease. I’m already planning on how to deal with acute pain without them and already have created multiple protocols for the use of cannabinoid replacement therapy for drugs of dependence over the last 11 months for others that are in my position or will end up here. I’ve gone deep down the rabbit hole of how to use CBD’s drug: drug interactions to aid in the cessation of addictive substances and even further with other constituents of the plant. It’s been a year of regaining my balance in life, of creations that I thought were unworthy, and of finding out who I really am. When we’re under the influence of opioids everything is just a blur and our entire existence is a mock reality. Nothing is ever real – especially our feelings. Not until we clear ourselves of addiction do we truly get to know who we are and what emotions feel like – as during the tenure of drug use we become completely blind to so much. “

“When I look back to 2019 it was a year filled with intensive social anxiety and some very severe depression -along with seizures that withdrawal causes but increased dramatically due to me having severe epilepsy. It’s taken an entire year to gain control over a seizure disorder that was in full control – and the only reason that happened was due to pharmaceutical opioids. In a recent discussion of statisticians and researchers I was appalled to find out that the worst part of the opioid epidemic has yet to be seen, the highest death tolls will be reported shortly and have much to do with doctors who cut their patients off of a supply based on fear due to their own pattern of practice of overprescribing. This has created a surge of street users shooting up pills they think are from patients selling their pharmaceuticals but are instead are Fentanyl laced counterfeits created in drug mills all over the globe. I’m glad I escaped and am now happy I decided to just deal with it – what most simply don’t want to deal with – all of what comes with gaining your life back has kept me homebound especially after all the seizures in the withdrawal. But, I took that time to create ways for other people addicted to gain freedom through plant-based alternatives.”